


Hermitcraft Request Book

by Melodyofthesea77



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Admin Grian, Multi, REQUESTS CLOSED, Shipping, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, please don't request smut, sorry - Freeform, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23414290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodyofthesea77/pseuds/Melodyofthesea77
Summary: To combat pandemic blues, I've decided to dive right back into the world of hermits and crafting. This is an open one-shot request book. All shipping is welcome but I will not be writing smut or anything of that kind bc I'm not old enough to read it, much less write it. Please feel free to comment any request you might have!
Relationships: Bdubs/Keralis, Biffa/Xisuma, Doc/impulse, Scar/Grian, Scar/grian/ zedaph, Stress/False/Cleo, ZIT/Grian, grian/mumbo/doc, grian/xisuma, ren/xisuma, scar/cub, stress/iskall, to be added
Comments: 353
Kudos: 472





	1. requests open

Like I said, feel free to comment any requests for ships (platonic or romantic) you might like to see one-shots of. I support rare-pairs! (Edit: I'm sorry if it takes a while to get these done. I did not expect such a huge response!) Edit for some guidelines: please tell me explicitly if you want shipping or not because I know some people hate it and others are okay with it. 

On a different note: about my chapter titles - and means platonic, / means romantic. The part after the dash is the title of the oneshot.


	2. Keralis/Bdubs - Missing you

Takes place during season 6

Keralis sat in his treehouse, overlooking the area 77 compound. He sighed wistfully. He had missed the server: it’s crazy builds and strange happenings. But more importantly, he had missed his friends: Etho, Doc, Xisuma and others. But Etho was nowhere to be found, X was too busy to spend time with him and Doc… Doc had changed. At first, Keralis had been overjoyed to see his friend, his teammate but when he got locked up in that cell, he realised that Doc had changed. He’d grown cold and distant. Doc had always been a bit cool, but this was on a whole different level. Gone was the loud German laughter and the spark in his eyes that had always bordered on madness had now crossed that fine line. And Keralis couldn’t figure out why.

Most of all, Keralis missed Bdubs or “Bubbles” as he had so affectionately nicknamed him. His missed that brashness and boldness. He missed the warm comfort Bdubs provided, he missed those stolen moments when no one was looking. Those purloined kisses. He sighed again. His communicator pinged. He ignored it, instead choosing to reminisce about the good old days. The NHO vs the Revolution. What fun they had! Another ping. Again, he ignored it. It was probably someone conversing on the main chat. Or maybe someone was working on a particularly dangerous mob farm. After 3 or 4 more pings, he ultimately got curious. He straightened a little from where he had been leaning over the balustrade of his newly built balcony and was halfway through checking his communicator when he heard screaming.

He turned around wildly, trying to locate the source of the sound, which was getting louder by the second. He finally looked up, just in time to see a screaming player fall from the sky and into his pool. He watched in shock as said player sunk to the bottom of the pool then after a few seconds swam back up again. His mystery visitor broke the surface gasping, and only then did he recognise who had fallen into his pool. He stared in shock as Bdubs swam to the side where he was standing.

“Bubbles?!” he cried when his friend (boyfriend?) emerged onto the shore right next to him, “Uh, hi!” he continued, still in shock.

“Hi!” Bdubs replied, shaking himself like a wet dog, “Hey Keralis, I am so glad you built this pool right now. I’ve been falling for the past 20 minutes!” Keralis immediately checked his communicator and sure enough, the pings he’d been getting was the same message:

_BdoubleO100 fell from a high place_

“I’m so glad to see you!” Keralis practically threw himself onto Bdubs. The other wobbled for a moment due to the combination of weakness and the sudden added weight. He then pushed Keralis off of himself to regain balance.

“I’m still a little lightheaded from all that falling, and my body aches a lot from all that fall damage.” He told his overeager companion. Keralis flinched, mentally chastising himself for not thinking.

“Yes, of course! Come on! I’ll get you a spare bed.” He offered his arm for support and Bdubs took it, allowing himself to get dragged into the house.

“Nice house you have here,” Bdubs commented as Keralis helped him through the house.

“Thanks!” Keralis replied, genuinely pleased by the compliment but too worried to really take it to heart. They finally got to the bedroom and Keralis gently set Bdubs down onto the double bed he’d been sleeping in. Bdubs practically collapsed, his exhaustion getting worse by the second.

“I don’t have any healing potions!” Keralis exclaimed, upset.

“It’s okay, I’m not actually hurt, just tired,” Keralis relaxed a little.

“I’ll let you sleep then,” he proclaimed and turned for the door.

“No, wait,” Bdubs didn’t have the energy to shout. It worked none the less, Keralis turning to face him, not sure what to do. Bdubs beckoned him forth and when Keralis was close enough, Bdubs pulled him forward onto the bed beside him. Keralis’ yelp was muffled by their lips crashing together.

When they separated, Bdubs looked really tired but Keralis’ eyes were wider than usual. Bdubs knew he owed his boyfriend an explanation, so he pulled him closer to himself and put his lips to Keralis’ ear.

“All that time apart made me realise just how much I cared about you. You deserve better than those stolen kisses and pretty lies. I promise you when I wake up, we’ll tell the whole server. No more secrets.”

Keralis was shocked for a few more seconds, then his expression softened, and he ran his hand through Bdubs’ hair.

“No more secrets.” He echoed. They fell asleep listening to each other’s heartbeats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First request done! I'm not really familiar with Bdubs and Keralis like I am with the other Hermits so I apologise if this is ooc. I had fun making it though and I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Especially you HermitFan5, thank you for requesting this! Now I've got to skedaddle, it's 12 am! Please tell me if you find any typos, I sped through proofreading.


	3. Mumbo whump - Tis but a scratch

Set during season 6

Mumbo Jumbo was working on a Redstone farm. This was one in his witch farm and even though the lag was already huge, he didn’t exactly have anywhere else to put it. It was a large complicated contraption with many moving parts that few besides Mumbo could understand. He walked away from it and smiled proudly. It was coming along nicely. He jumped as his communicator pinged. He picked it up and panicked. It was X telling him he was late for the server meeting. He had been so wrapped up in his machine he’d forgotten all about it.

“Oh, my word!” He cried and used rockets to fly up. Unfortunately, as he manoeuvred through the farms his leg got slashed by a piece of machinery. He cried out and landed on the nearest available platform. His leg looked to be in a bad way, but everyone was waiting for him. He managed to make his way to his first aid kit and began wrapping his leg in bandages.

“It’s only a scratch,” he told himself, even though it clearly wasn’t, “don’t be such a wuss.” He wrapped another layer of bandages then, satisfied, put the spool and used a pin to secure it. He stood up on wobbly feet, leg still aching immensely but he forced himself to take off and headed to the shopping district.

By the time he got to the meeting room, everyone was already there. Mumbo quietly snuck to the far corner and leaned against the wall, listening to X ramble on about changes to the server and tried to ignore the waves of pain that washed over him.

The second Mumbo entered, Grian knew something was wrong. Mumbo had been late and had quietly snuck to the corner, neither of which was out of the ordinary but the way he was supporting himself against the wall and the way he was biting his lip made Grian worry. Other than what had already been stated, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with him, his suit rumpled in the way it usually was when he had been working on a project for hours. Then, the pantleg caught Grian’s attention. It was ripped down the side, he could see the fringes from here. And in between the fringes, not the cream colour of Mumbo’s skin but the pristine whiteness of bandages. Well, not exactly pristine. Grian watched with growing horror as a splotch of red grew on the bandage.

“Mumbo! You’re bleeding!” Grian couldn’t stop himself. The entire room turned in the direction of the moustached hermit and the man in question turned his head to look where Grian was pointing.

“Oh, that? It’s fine! It’s a small scratch I got when I was flying to the meeting. It’s fresh so it’s allowed to bleed a little.” Mumbo attempted to reassure his friend.

“A little?!” X exclaimed as he too watched the blood seep through the obviously numerous bandages, “We need to get a look at that.”

“No really chaps, it’s fine!” Mumbo protested, backing into the wall, “tis but a scratch!” Just then, Mumbo’s world flipped upside down and the last thing he felt was a strong pair of arms catch him.

When Mumbo woke up, he was in the medical tent (let’s pretend there is one on the Hermitcraft server). As his vision slowly stopped swimming, he saw a familiar red sweater near him.

“Mumbo! You’re awake!” Grian cried as he threw himself around the taller hermit’s neck.

“Careful, love,” Stress warned, “you’ll rip his stitches!”

“Stitches? Oh, my word,” Mumbo felt a little ill. He knew that the wound was worse than he’d let on, but that bad? Jeez, Luiz! He looked up at the two hermits by his bedside. They were probably judging him for being weak.

“Why didn’t you tell us, love?” Stress asked, not a hint of accusation in her voice.

Mumbo averted his eyes, not willing to meet her gaze but he could feel Grian’s eyes on him as well.

“I didn’t want you to think I was weak,” He mumbled under his breath, but the others heard him.

“Love, look at me,” Stress said quietly. Mumbo didn’t want to, but he forced himself to meet her eyes, looking down on him with care.

“Why would we ever think that?” Stress smiled at him and out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Grian smiling too. And not that troublemaker smile he usually had, or even that condescending smile when he managed to prank somebody. It was a genuinely warm smile that sparkled in his eyes and was reserved just for such occasions. Mumbo felt his shoulders slump slightly and though he was too frazzled to reciprocate properly, he did give them a weak but authentic smile.

They leaned over the bed and gave him a warm hug which he relaxed into. Stress then gently helped him down onto the bed and Grian sat down next to him to keep him company. After a while, they started to get sleepy.

“Just out of interest,” Mumbo said as they began to close their eyes, “Who caught me?”

“I did,” Grian replied casually. Mumbo stole a glance at his friend, then chuckled.

“My word, you really are stronger than you look.” He grinned, then promptly passed out.

Next to him, Grian laughed quietly, “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay Monty Python references! I do hope you enjoyed this one-shot, requested by theoneandonly. A quick note about my update schedule: I will be posting 1 one-shot daily and I'll try to do 2 as often as I can. Stay safe out there and warm hugs from the other side of the screen. 
> 
> PS: feel free to write any request you may have down in the comments section below, even if you've already asked for one!


	4. Grian and Iskall - Not again!

Set in season 7

Iskall couldn’t hold back his laughter.

“Not again!” he chortled as he got out of bed. He pulled out his communicator to read a message from his killer:

_Grian: please tell me you were going after the tag_

This set off another bout of giggles from Iskall. He exchanged a few more messages with Grian and set off into the jungle. His loud laughter died off as he calmed, making his way overland to Grian’s base. Halfway through his trek, he got a message from Grian saying that he had Iskall’s stuff at Iskall’s base, prompting the now thoroughly worn out Swede to raise his hands to the heavens. He then did an about-turn and began lumbering back the way he came. Thankfully, he had already cleared a path, so the way back was much less troublesome. Still, by the time he got back, the sun had begun to set.

Grian was waiting for him, a smug grin on his face, although he did look a little antsy. Before Iskall could even start to get his armour on, he saw a zombie charging at him. Luckily Grian had his sword already out and he began swinging at the zombies. Iskall began to suit up to help, however as he was doing so, he felt the bitter sting of an enchanted blade. He turned, just to see Grian deal the final strike.

“What the heck, man?!” Iskall exclaimed as he got out of bed for the second time in as many hours.

“You were going to attack me!” Grian shouted back, dealing with the last of the zombies. Thankfully someone had slept so they stopped attacking and burnt in the daylight.

“No, I wasn’t! I was going to help you!” Iskall shouted back, by now thoroughly miffed by the whole thing.

“Oh,” Grian blinked, “But the tag?”

“The tag doesn’t matter! Not when there is a whole lot of zombies! Besides, I’ve already tried that route! And look how it turned out!”

“Sorry,” Grian looked rather chastised and he was looking down at his legs uncomfortably, “You just scared the heck out of me, dude!” Iskall chuckled, unable to stay annoyed at his friend.

“No harm done!” He smiled and got his stuff back properly.

“I think that everything,” Grian said, looking through his own inventory for anything he might have missed. Iskall nodded and got the last of his things out of the shulker boxes.

“That’s everything!” he assured Grian and the short hermit grinned back at him.

“But seriously,” Grian’s smile got back it’s troublemaker edge, “How did you fall for the same trick twice?” Iskall groaned and Grian let out a giggle.

Now, with this little incident, there was one thing Grian couldn’t return to Iskall: his pride. No, that was something Iskall would have to get back himself. He’s pretty sure he lost some of his hearing that day because of that bell. But in Iskall’s eyes, it was way worth it. They way Grian jumped from the TNT and the delicious satisfaction of waving that stupid tag in Grian’s not-so-smug-now face. It was very amusing to watch Grian whine over the lack of communication with Mumbo, though Iskall did promise himself to remind Mumbo about that messaging system when he next saw him after seeing Grian’s downcast face. The spoon had probably forgotten all about it! In the end, in that slightly ruined hobbit hole, the two friends laughed as Grian mockingly swore revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this one-shot completely kicked my ass! Sorry, it was late, I know you've been waiting a long time for it Silverwing but I had a lot of stuff to do yesterday and I had no idea how to write it. Anyways, I've updated some of the guidelines for requests now that I did some of them so please, go back and read it, especially if you've already requested and I still haven't written yours.


	5. Impulse/Doc - This insult requires blood!

Set during season 6

The ads outside of Itrade were kinda hard to miss. Impulse stared amusedly at the following words:

_WANTED!_

_A redstone based hippie to help fight the MAN!_

_To apply please contact Grian & Renbob for an interview_

_(It’s a great way to annoy your boyfriend! – G)_

He chuckled, “That’s targeted marketing if I ever saw it!” Not that Impulse was surprised. Grian was the master of targeted marketing. Impulse still remembered the heart-attack that was Grian’s leaflet drop campaign. Nevertheless, it had worked. As did the ad at Itrade, because a scant few minutes later Impulse found himself flying to over new hermitville and into the mushroomy madness that was the hippie camp.

That interview did end with Impulse in lava, but he got the gig, so he didn’t mind too much. After deciding on his hippie look, with Grian’s help making the flower crown (the gremlin was surprisingly good at them), Impulse set to work building his trailer. That job took him most of the afternoon, but by nightfall, he was wiping sweat from his face and admiring his new temporary home. He wouldn’t actually be living in it full-time (he still had his base to work on), but he figured that he and Doc might require some *ekhem* privacy. So, he smiled at the yellow and white camper van.

Just as he was doing that, he heard rustling from the nearby bushes. He turned to find himself face-to-face with his very surprised boyfriend. Doc’s eyes widened and he walked backwards into Scar, who had been sneaking behind him. This ended in Doc and Scar laying in a heap, in the middle of the hippie encampment, with a very, very amused Impulse staring at them. After a few seconds of wiggling, Doc managed to detangle himself from Scar and get up to glare at Impulse. Well, it would have been a glare, if not for the spark of mirth in his eyes. Impulse had seen his boyfriend actually mad, and while that was a sight to behold and fear, this was nowhere near mad.

“Impulse, why would you betray me?” Doc flailed his arms in an exaggerated manner, holding his chest dramatically. Impulse snorted and nodded in approval at the hermit gang reference.

“Betray you?” Impulse played innocent, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Doc fake-growled, scrunching his nose up in a way that he must have thought to look scary, but Impulse just saw as adorable. In fact, Impulse found a lot of things that Doc did adorable: the way he crossed his arms and pouted when he didn’t get his way, the spark of excitement that he had in his eyes when he explained his newest redstone machine to Impulse, the way he purred when Impulse played with his hair and later vehemently denied ever making such a noise (“Creepers don’t purr! We hiss and explode!” “Sure you do, babe.”)

“Mark my words!” Doc shouted, waving his trident above his head, “This insult requires blood! Mark my words!” With that, Doc slinked back into the woods with a snickering Scar following him. Just before he disappeared out of view, Doc turned around and winked, blowing Impulse a kiss. Impulse pretended to catch it and winked back.

After the two finally left, Impulse couldn’t hold it back anymore. He fell backwards, onto the grass, and started laughing his head off. There was no doubt about it: his boyfriend was a complete drama-queen. Impulse had obviously known this for a while, no matter how much Doc denied it.

The two other hippies found him this way, laying on the grass, slowly calming down from the amount of laughter he had had. When he told them about the encounter, Renbob announced that those area 77 goons were up to no good while Grian snickered (in a manner remarkably similar to the way his boyfriend had snickered a few minutes before).

“I told you it was a good way to annoy your boyfriend!” the gremlin told him as he helped Impulse up.

“And you would know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Impulse teased back, enjoying the coy smile on Grian’s face.

The three hippies settled around the fire, enjoying the warmth of the evening and the music from their jukebox (Impulse had no idea where they had gotten it from). All in all, it was a productive day for the owner of Itrade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I could have turned this into angst but then I thought: "The world already has so much angst in it and I have angsty one-shots lined up, so why not make something fun and fluffy!" So here you go. In case you were wondering where I got the title from, it's actually a rough translation from the Polish (my native language) saying: "Ta zniewaga krwi wymaga!" And it's just as dramatic as Doc so I thought it fit well. I also wanna thank all of you for all of your delightful comments. Because I go to a school where it feels like nearly everyone hates me, to have such words of kindness from my peers means more to me then I could ever express. So thank you to zrkk for requesting and thank you to all of you for your encouragement. It really helped me and I'm not ashamed to say I might have cried a little when I read those comments.


	6. shenanigans - Freaky friday

Set during season 7

"Are you sure this is safe?" Grian asked, eyeing the potion suspiciously.

"Like, 90%," Scar assured, "Okay, maybe 80 or 70. Definitely 60!" They were standing in Scar’s snail, in the kitchen/entrance hall. Scar was fidgeting by the window and Grian was leaning against the centre counter holding the reason he was here: a blueish-green potion, sloshing around in a potion bottle. According to Scar, the potion was supposed to make you fly without an elytra, though Scar didn’t know how exactly. Grian gave the potion one last side-eye then chugged it down like it was an energy drink. Scar squeaked in surprise then pulled out a notepad.

“Feel anything yet?” He asked nervously. Grian was about to reply when he felt a wave of dizziness overtake him. He leaned further on the counter and the last thing he saw was a very concerned Scar before he passed out.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the jungle, Iskall stared blankly at a chicken. Said chicken had a nametag saying “parrot” and was tied via leash to the hermit challenges area.

“In fact,” Mumbo was saying “Mine’s bigger than yours!” Iskall finally shook himself out of his stupor and turned to stare at the hobbit hermit.

“Mumbo, that’s a chicken,” Iskall told his friend, beginning to doubt his sanity. Honestly, what had the past few weeks done to the redstoner. He had gone from mild-mannered and respectable to absolute gremlin. It seemed like being Grian’s neighbour had more negative effects than just the occasional egging. Iskall made a promise to himself to warn Scar.

“No! Of course not! It’s a parrot!” Mumbo insisted, gesturing towards the bird in question, “Well, maybe a plus-sized one,” he amended.

“It’s a chicken!”

“It’s a parrot!”

“Chicken!”

“Parrot!”

“Chicken!”

“Guys!”

As one, the arguing hermits turned to the tied-up bird.

“What’s going on?” the bird asked.

“See! It’s a parrot! It can mimic human voices!” Mumbo exclaimed.

“Or maybe it’s just a really clever chicken!” Iskall argued back.

“Yeah, pretty sure I’m neither,” the bird butted in.

“Then what are you?” Iskall asked, genuinely curious.

“I’m Grian!” the bird cried.

“Never heard of the species,” Iskall rubbed his chin thoughtfully. The bird jabbed him on the foot.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“It’s me! Grian, your sweater-wearing friend! I was testing one of Scar’s potions and this happened!” Iskall rescinded his earlier mental note about warning Scar. Clearly it was too late.

“Oh,” Mumbo just blinked rapidly, trying to wrap his head around what was happening.

“Look,” Grian sighed, “Can you just get me to Larry the snail?” The duo nodded and off they went.

When they got to the snail, it was absolute mayhem. Scar was chasing a clucking Grian, who was running around like a headless chicken, which to be fair he was (minus the headless part).

“Oh, hey guys! I promise it’s not what it looks like!” Scar held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“We know,” Iskall deadpanned, then pointed to the bird of unidentified species in Mumbo’s arms, “That’s Grian.”

“Sup!” Grian clucked. Scar froze in disbelief. He turned back around to look at Grian’s body still running around his front yard, then turned to once again face Iskall.

“A little help?” he asked timidly, indicating the flailing “hermit”. Iskall pulled up his sleeves.

A little while later, the three hermits and one chicken were sitting back in the wizard’s kitchen where this all began. Grian’s currently occupied body was tied up in the corner, occasionally making clucking sounds.

“I honestly don’t know what went wrong!” Scar was flipping through his notes, “I mean I could have expected some weird growth or maybe even him turning into a chicken…”

“Parrot,” Mumbo corrected. Two hermits and one chicken levelled him with a glare.

“As I was saying,” Scar continued, “I could have expected him to turn into a chicken but not this! It makes no sense!”

The four pondered, and after a while, Grian sighed.

“I’m hungry,” he decided “Where do you keep the food?” he asked Scar.

“In the cabinet over there,” Scar pointed, “but I don’t think you can reach it in your current … state”

“Did you forget I can fly?” Grian challenged and hopped off the table. Mumbo’s eyes widened.

“Scar, what did you say the potion was supposed to do?”

“Make you fly.”

“And by what means?”

“The book didn’t say.”

“So, what if the potion worked?” Mumbo posed the question, indicating to where Grian was using his wings to lift himself to the cabinet. It was Scar’s turn to widen his eyes.

“Of course! That makes sense!” Scar grinned and opened the cabinet that Grian had been attempting to open, eliciting a “hey!” from him. He pulled out a bucket of milk and walked over to their prisoner, forcing the milk down his throat.

“That should do the trick!” He stepped back as both the chicken and Grian started shaking. After a few seconds, Grian’s eyes unclouded and he grinned.

“It worked!” he cried ecstatically, “Now could you please untie me?”

Sometime later, the four hermits, now all in their correct bodies, parted ways. As Iskall and Mumbo walked back into the jungle with the chicken, they continued to argue on whether it was a chicken at all.

“So, that was fun…” Grian began, “But I would like my payment now. You promised me diamonds Scar.” He held his hand out for the shiny blue rocks and Scar chuckled nervously.

“Do you accept payment in magic crystals?” Scar was smart enough to start running.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I laughed my head off for this one. CrazyCatMeow I hope it was worth the wait! In other news, IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING. You guys kept telling me to take breaks but I didn't listen, like an idiot and whoop-dee-do, here I am! Burned out and stressed out. To add to it all, my teachers piled on work because it was the last week of school before Easter break. But, good news! This was the last week of school before Easter break, which means I can spend more time on this. I have learned from my mistakes and will upload every 2 days to give my self some breathing room. Given all this, I cannot promise you regular updates in good faith, but I can promise you I will try. With all that, I hope you enjoyed and please leave any requests or comments down in the comments section.  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	7. Scar/Cub - Breathe

Set during season 6

TW: panic attack, psychological abuse

Scar wanted to cry. He had just finished the office for captain Angry-Eyebrows when he realised that he had done it 2 blocks too far to the left. Now he’d have to demolish the whole thing and move it by 2 blocks and Captain AE would yell at him again. The worst part was that no-one cared. Doc was too absorbed in his experiments to notice and the HIBs were too busy to even care.

At first, this whole thing had been fun. Help Doc and mess with Grian, it seemed like a bargain. But the more time he spent in this accursed place, the more he regretted his choice. Captain AE was cold and mean, and whenever Scar wanted to take a break, to go back to his boyfriend, AE would scream at him that he was a disappointment, that he was lazy, that he was utterly useless. And Scar believed him. So, he slaved away at the buildings in Area 77, only sometimes stopping to listen to the music that drifted to the restricted zone from the nearby hippie encampment and wish that he hadn’t gotten himself into this whole mess in the first place.

The thing is, the hippies noticed. Neither Grian nor Ren were blind, they could see the dark rings under Scar’s eyes. Impulse saw it too, but none of them knew exactly what to do. They were aware of the fact that Scar tended to overwork himself and figured that’s what was going on. But as the days went by, they became more and more concerned. So, when Cub showed up, in his ridiculous wandering trader outfit, they filled him in on what was going on and the 4 of them came up with a plan.

Late one night, when they knew that no one but Scar would be awake, they lit up some torches in a strange pattern by the treeline so that they were very visible from any part of area 77. They lay in ambush, praying that Scar would be the one to see it and investigate on his own. Whatever god they chose to pray to was feeling merciful that night because a scant few minutes later, a very tired Scar flew to see what the lights were about. The 3 hippies and 1 capitalist sprung on the unsuspecting Scar, dragging him back to the RVs.

Only when they were back there did they realise that Scar was breathing way too fast. The adrenaline should have worn by now, and yet Scar was gasping like he couldn’t catch a breath. The 3 hippies moved to see what was going on, but Cub waved them off, moving to sit on front of his boyfriend, having realised what was happening.

“Breathe with me, babe,” Cub instructed, heaving his own chest in an exaggerated manner so that Scar could see. He did this for some time until Scar calmed down from his panic attack then scooped up his boyfriend and pulled him onto his lap. On instinct, Scar buried his face in Cub’s neck and just started sobbing. By this time, the hippies had caught on to what had happened and silently retired into their respective RVs to give the couple some space.

When Scar finally stopped crying, he lifted his face from Cub’s neck and tried to move from the embrace. Cub, however, was not letting go.

“Cub, let me go!” Scar tried to wriggle out.

“Not until you tell me what happened,” Cub was calm but adamant.

“Nothing,” Scar tried to lie, “I was just happy to see you,”

Cub wasn’t buying it, “Is that why you had a panic attack?”

“No, I’m just…” Scar was at a loss, “Tired,” he finally decided.

“Then let’s go back to the country club and get some rest,”

“I can’t,” Scar argued, “I’ve already had 2 hours of sleep and I need to get back to building.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?! 2 hours is not enough sleep to do anything!” Cub stood up and pulled his boyfriend up with him, “Come on, we’re going back to the country club and you’re getting some sleep.”

Scar however wrenched his hand from Cub’s and looked like he was going to cry again.

“Please don’t,” he whispered brokenly, “I don’t want to be a disappointment.” At those words, Cub’s heart shattered into itty bitty pieces and be pulled Scar into a close hug as the brunette once again started sobbing. They stood like that for a long time, Cub quietly murmuring assurances into Scar’s ear as the other cried his eyes out.

“Who told you that?” Cub demanded when Scar and he separated.

“Captain Angry-Eyebrow,” Scar replied quietly, “but he’s right…”

“Like hell he is!” Cub growled, “Now, I’m going to kill that man and have a serious chat with Doc, but right now, you need to rest.” He cupped his boyfriends face in his hands and kissed his forehead.

“Come on,” he said softly, taking Scar’s hand. Scar hesitated for one more moment then squeezed Cub’s hand in a vice-like grip and the two of them set off in the direction of the country club.

Captain Angry-Eyebrows was banned the very next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, tbh I don't really like writing angst but Dontjudgemeh requested so here you go! I hope you like it! On another note, please, please, please, when you request tell me if you want ships or not! And if you've requested, please check back to see if I've asked you any questions, bc I want to write these one-shots so that you're happy but I'm not a telepath and even if I was, I wouldn't have that kind of range. The more you tell me, the better I can make these one-shots. Feel free to tell me what you liked and didn't like down in the comments and as always, all requests are welcome.  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> Edit: I just noticed how half of the oneshots I have done so far have somehow ended up featuring Scar! Lol


	8. Onesie special

Set during season 6

“So, I had this brilliant idea…” just like that, Iskall and Mumbo knew that they were in for a wild ride. Grian’s ideas tended to end in something (cough, cough, Sahara) broken, something on fire, something exploding or all three at once. To say Grian’s ideas ended in utter chaos was putting things mildly. So naturally, the duo was a little less then jazzed to hear Grian had had another brainwave. That annoyance turned to confusion when Grian dumped what looked like a pile of material on the Sahara meeting room table.

“Grian, dude, what the heck is this?” Iskall asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“Onesies!” Grian smiled broadly. At this point, the brains of his fellow architects short-circuited.

“What.”

“We’re gonna be the dragon onesie bros!” Grian exclaimed excitedly. At this point, Mumbo just attempted to facepalm into the table but forgot he was still wearing that stupid dragon head. This ended in his face resting against snout of his dragon head, which in turn rested against the table. It was a sight of complete and utter exasperation. Grian didn’t seem to notice as he detangled the onesies from one another and handed them out to his fellow architects. Iskall noticed that he had some leftover, meaning that Bdubs and False would not be spared.

Sure enough, not one hour later, the five dragon bros were walking through the shopping district, wearing their brand-new onesies. Iskall had to admit, they were much better to wear against the dragon masks. In fact, now that the winter months were upon them, they provided a nice bit of warmth. This was probably the best idea that Grian had had in a while (not that any of his ideas were bad per se, just incredibly destructive). He especially enjoyed the moment when his girlfriend and Grian’s boyfriend came to see them.

Stress and Xisuma had heard that the dragon bros were, once again, causing a commotion. Being the concerned significant others they were, they decided to check on their boyfriends to make sure they didn’t get themselves hurt (at this point, they were seriously debating creating a “my significant other is a dragon bro” club with Keralis, Doc and Cleo, just because of the sheer amount of trouble that the dragon bros somehow managed to get themselves into). They were more than pleasantly surprised. Not only were their boyfriends not in trouble, but they were also positively adorable. Stress let out an actual squeal when the group first came into view and Xisuma had an “oh quiznak, my boyfriend’s cute” brain freeze, which is, needless to say, the most pleasant type of brain freeze. It took them a solid few seconds to recover from their mostly pleasant shock before they made their way over to the group.

Grian and Iskall looked very pleased with themselves, doubtless aware of exactly what they were doing to their significant others. Bdubs, False and Mumbo weren’t oblivious either (probably because they had already done the same thing to their respective lovers). As X approached, Grian practically flung himself into his boyfriend. Xisuma’s first thought was: “I have just been hugged by a giant teddy bear,” and his second one was: “Grian must have spent so long on these,”. Just as he thought that he noticed that his boyfriend’s breathing had evened out and that he was becoming heavier by second. Despite his small stature Grian was no lightweight (in the actual sense that he was heavy, not in the drinking sense), so Xisuma grunted as more of his lover’s weight was shifted onto him.

Stress quickly noticed his predicament but instead of helping, simply cooed:

“Oh! He’s fallen asleep! How cute!” At this, the rest of the group crowded around Xisuma to find that, indeed, Grian was fast asleep in his boyfriend’s embrace.

“He must have tuckered himself making these onesies,” Mumbo smiled and moved to help X support the tiny leader of this onesie wearing group.

“It is getting pretty late,” False remarked, looking at the darkening sky, “I think it’s time we head home.” The group acquiesced and divided, Mumbo being kind enough to help X get Grian to their joined bed. They both collapsed onto it and after bidding Mumbo goodbye, X helped his very sleepy boyfriend get cosy. The plus side to onesies is that they doubled excellently as PJs. X changed into his own pyjamas and slid back into bed where his boyfriend was already wriggling, trying to find his partner in his confused state. When X embraced him, he stilled, cuddled into X and sighed contentedly.

“Goodnight X,” Grian mumbled, barely coherent. X smiled and lifted Grian’s hood to run his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair.

“Goodnight, my little dragon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's your daily dose of diabetes. Thank you to Flowing_Zulu for requesting this, I hope it's what you had in mind. In less pleasant news, I can't believe I have to say this but I will not accept smut requests. I got one yesterday, even though, I explicitly (pardon the pun) said I was too young to even read smut. The only thing this succeeded in doing is making me mildly uncomfortable (and by mildly I mean I still have this discomfort at the back of my mind right now). Anyways, I hope you all have lovely days and I'll see you on Thursday.  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> PS: there's a Voltron: legendary defender reference in here somewhere. Can you find it?


	9. Scar/Grian - fever dreams

Set during season 7

It was set to be a big storm but Grian was determined. He needed that gravel and he was going to get it dammit! Despite his stubbornness, when the storm started raging, Grian was forced to give up on his gathering and fly back home. The storm raged on as he flew towards the hobbit hole, buffering him from all sides and soaking him to the last dry string. As more lightning flashed, a headache formed in Grian’s brain and confusing him even further. The visibility was so low that he had no hope of finding his home to take shelter from the storm.

Suddenly, a giant spire appeared before him. He swerved and managed not to faceplant but lost control of his elytra in the process. He flew down and crashed in the middle of a somewhat familiar village. Feeling that he was about to pass out, Grian shouted a desperate “Help!” praying that the architect of this magical village was nearby. Having exhausted his energy, he could only watch as his surroundings faded out of view. Just before he passed out, he felt some vibrations in the ground. Footsteps hurrying towards him.

Scar was halfway through building his spire when the storm broke out. He sighed when the first drops of rain started falling and by the time it was pouring, Scar was already safe and snug inside Larry the snail. Oh well, he had planned on taking a break soon. Having discarded his slightly damp wizards robe and armour, he was sitting by the fireplace, wrapped in a warm blanket while the tempest howled outside. It was nothing short of a miracle that he heard the cry for help at all. But Scar had good ears and he heard the shout of “Help!” outside his house. Being the good wizard that he was, he threw his now dry robes and armour on and ran outside.

He quickly saw the person in distress, said person having crash-landed in the middle of his town square. Grian was lying in a heap on the cobblestone, out cold. Scar grabbed the passed-out hermit and somehow managed to pull him into the snail. It was kinda hard to drag someone up a ladder, but Scar was used to lugging heavy things up and down various ladders, so it wasn’t that big a deal. Scar managed to get Grian onto his bed and, ignoring his embarrassment, stripped the soaked hermit down to his boxers and covered him with as many warm blankets as he could find.

He then rushed downstairs and emptied his kitchen cabinets until he found a healing potion. He brought it back upstairs and gently coaxed Grian’s lips open. Grian drained the potion and his eyelids fluttered.

“S-scar?” he mumbled.

“Shhh, go to sleep G. You need to rest,” Scar told him, covering him with more blankets.

“Okay,” a feverish Grian muttered, “Love you, Scar.” And completely oblivious to the tomato-red brunette, he turned over and drifted back to sleep.

Grian woke up some hours later, very confused as to where he was. It was only after a minute that last nights events caught up with him. Had he really said that? Grian was sourly tempted to scream into his pillow but stopped himself on account of the pillow not actually being his. Just then Scar entered the room and Grian’s day got worse. In a childish attempt to escape his reality, Grian hid under the covers as Scar approached. Scar chuckled and lifted the covers off slightly to reveal a very flustered Grian.

“How are you today?” Scar asked warmly, pushing some food towards Grian.

“I-I’m ok-okay,” Grian mumbled and gratefully took the food from Scar.

After a few minutes of Grian eating silently, Scar couldn’t stop himself any longer,

“Did you mean it?” Grian choked slightly on his food and looked up.

“M-mean what?” he asked, already knowing what Scar was talking about.

Scar rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“The thing you said before you passed out.”

Grian was very inclined to lie and blame his confession on his delirium but something stopped him. Something about the way Scar was looking at him, almost with hope.

“Y-yeah,” at this moment, Grian wanted nothing more than for the earth to swallow him whole.

All of a sudden, there were lips on his and just like that Scar was kissing him. They separated and Scar ran his hand down Grian’s cheek.

“Love you too, G,” he told Grian. Grian’s cheeks went from red-stained-glass red to full-on poppy red. He buried his face in Scar’s chest and just stayed there, enjoying the warmth of Scar’s body and relaxing feeling of Scar running his hands through Grian’s hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I misremembered llsmolbunll's request and halfway through I went back to check it and realised what had happened. I mean, it's not that different, the premise is still there but if it bothers you, llsmolbunll you are perfectly within your rights to demand another one-shot (based on the prompt you gave me or a new one). My bad. Also, this was supposed to go up yesterday but I restarted my driver's course. In Poland, you can get a junior drivers license at 14. You can't drive anything that exceeds something like 45km/h but I just need a motorbike to get around town, so yeah. Google a Polish AM license if you don't believe me! For those of you who were confused by my word choices in this one: I accidentally used a Polish idiom. In Poland, if someone is completely wet, we say that they have been "soaked to the last dry string" (przemoknienty do suchej nitki).  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> ps: I will try to upload tomorrow but if I can't, I'll probably just shift my entire update schedule by 1


	10. Doc and Mumbo -  s-mole trouble

Set during season 6

Mumbo tapped his foot nervously while he waited for Doc. He wasn’t sure why the STAR team leader had called him for a meeting, but it couldn’t be good. Oh lord, he’d probably messed up and Doc knew he was a mole! And Doc’s wrath was something to be feared. If he started a whole war over one small bush, what would he do to a traitor?

“Hello Mumbo Jumbo,” Mumbo nearly jumped when he heard the voice from the shadows. Doc walked out with his hands behind his back.

“Or should I say, Molebo Gumbo?” a shiver ran down Mumbo’s spine.

Doc had everything planned out. He’d sneak into the meeting room via the back entrance and stand in this shadowy corner. Then he’d wait for Mumbo to enter and wait some more to really to build the atmosphere. Then he’d walk out of the shadows like a boss and accuse Mumbo of being a mole. It was a little dramatic (“A little?” Impulse had snorted when Doc told him his plan) but Doc had a reputation to maintain. Everything was planned out to a t.

Except for the panic attack. See, Doc had underestimated just what kind of reputation he had and how much of an atmosphere he’d built. Poor Mumbo really thought Doc was going to murder him (which would result in a respawn, but Mumbo wasn’t thinking clearly right now). He started to hyperventilate, his chest heaving and his head swimming from the sudden loss of oxygen. Doc was saying something, but Mumbo couldn’t make it out. Tears started to stream down his face, impairing his vision even more.

It took Doc a moment to notice his friends plight but the slow slide to the floor was a pretty good indicator that something was wrong.

“Mumbo, dude? You okay?” Doc asked, but Mumbo either didn’t hear him or acknowledge his words. At this point, Doc started to panic. You see, creepers tend to travel in packs (though they don’t attack in them) and they forge pretty strong bonds with their pack members. Doc had more or less (begrudgingly) adopted the hermits as his new pack, so every instinct in his body was screaming to help Mumbo.

Acting on his pack protection instincts he turned around the room, trying to locate the threat. But they were alone. The only thing that could have scared Mumbo was… him.

“I’m so sorry, Mumbo,” he said gently, kneeling down next to his friend to get on his level. He wasn’t sure that Mumbo could see him through the tears, but he hoped a calm voice would snap him out, so he continued talking.

“I didn’t mean to scare ya,” he promised the moustached hermit.

“It’s all fun and games,”

“I’m not mad, Mumbo,”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s okay…”

After roughly 5 minutes of gently coaxing, Mumbo finally managed to calm down some.

“Can I hug you?” Doc asked quietly. Mumbo nodded slightly and Doc pulled him into a strong but caring embrace. Mumbo shook as held him. After a few minutes, Doc felt a rumble in his throat that reverberated through his whole body. Creepers were known for their fear instilling hiss, but the same muscle allows them to purr like a cat. And everyone knew that cat purrs are great serotonin (why do you think Scar likes them so much?). That was what finally got Mumbo to calm down fully.

“Dude, are you purring?” Mumbo asked. Doc sent him a carefully playful glare.

“Information which you will take with you to the grave.”

Mumbo snickered, feeling much better. They disentangled and Mumbo sent Doc a thankful look.

“Thanks,”

“Don’t mention it,” Doc replied, then his face went conspiratorial, “No, seriously, don’t mention it to anybody,” Mumbo grinned but nodded. He turned sheepish.

“How’d you figure out I was a mole?” he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Doc laughed a deep genuine laugh.

“You may be a genius when it comes to redstone, but you are not fit to be a spy!” Doc chuckled, “I knew from the moment you joined the team!”

“Really? Are you kidding me?” Mumbo complained, “You weren’t fooled? Not even for a second?”

“Not even for a second,” Doc confirmed amused. Mumbo grumbled and buried his face in his hands.

“Who else knows?” Mumbo’s next question was muffled by his hands.

“Like, everyone, dude!” Doc grinned as Mumbo buried his face further into his hands.

They stood like that for a moment, Mumbo with his face in his hands and Doc grinning like the madmen that he was (sometimes). Mumbo eventually lifted his head and looked at the smirking creeper.

“So, what are you going to do with me?” he asked. Doc hesitated for a moment, then a Cheshire cat smile spread on his face.

“I have an idea,” Mumbo had the distinct feeling he would have preferred to be killed quickly with Doc’s trusty trident.

He was right (Mumbo was going to slap Grian one of these days for building that god-awful machine. A moustache remover? Really?).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And part 2 of drama - queen Doc is here! (basically treat this a sort of prequel to "this insult requires blood". Doc and Impulse aren't dating yet) Thanks to ayynon for requesting and I hope I got everything in your super specific request. I know that a lot of you guys love this dramatic Doc so let me know if you want more and if so, what situation would you like to see? In other good news, I'm back on my normal upload schedule! Yay! Plus, I discovered a really cool video game called "Kingdom hearts 3". Maybe you've heard of it? It's really fun, even if the storyline is a little hard to understand unless you've played every other kingdom hearts game (which I haven't).  
> Anyways, warm hugs from the other side of the screen, and see you Monday!  
> Mel  
> Ps: I'm still waiting on that reply, Asheepanda cause I can't write your story without it!


	11. Zit/Grian - the direct route

Set in season 6 (mostly)

Tango wasn’t sure when he first fell in love with Grian. It was when they were both young, he was sure of that. They had grown up together, been the bestest of friends and he had fallen hard. He had probably been in love as long as he’d known what love was. Like Barry and Iris in that tv show that Grian loved watching. Tango was sure that one day he’d confess. Then high school happened. When he and Grian had been divided they promised to write as often as they could. They kept the promise at first, writing back and forth at least once a week. But Grian’s letters changed, became more worrying. Then they stopped coming altogether. Tango had been halfway to Grian’s high school server when he’d heard the news.

They were all dead. One of Grian’s new friends had turned out to be a serial murderer and had killed everyone. He’d never get to meet Taurtis or J. He’d never see Grian again. Tango’s heart broke that day. It was the darkest period of his life. Impulse and Zedaph were the ones that saved him. They brought him to Hermitcraft and healed his broken heart as best they could. He owed them so much and he loved them with all his heart. Well almost all. There would always be a small place in the bottom of heart reserved just for Grian. Nothing could change that. Even though Grian was dead.

And then he wasn’t. Tango could not describe his emotions when he saw that familiar red sweater when he stepped out of that portal. He practically flung himself into the smaller player and Grian hugged him back as if his life depended on it. They stayed like that for a while, crying and assuring each other that they were really here. When they finally released their iron grips on each other they had some explaining to do but Tango could remember any of that because all he could think was that Grian was here and he wasn’t dead. So, to say Tango had complicated but strong feelings for Grian was an understatement.

Impulse could pinpoint almost exactly when he fell in love with Grian. It had been one of those nights in the trailer park, singing and playing the guitar, sticking it to the MAN. He looked over and saw Grian’s face lit in the light of the campfire. It was at that moment he knew what Tango saw in Grian. That smile was more infectious than the flu and brighter than the sun. The way the rays of light hit his face made him look like an angel. Impulse just stared for a good minute before the song ended and the spell was broken. But a minute was more than enough. Impulse was in love with Grian, just like his boyfriend. This was going to be complicated.

Zedaph had, what he called, second-hand love for Grian. He had never spent enough time with the short hermit to genuinely fall in love with him, but he had spent enough to understand his boyfriends’ attraction to him. He was certain that, given enough time, he’d fall as hard as Tango and Impulse had, but for now he was perfectly satisfied with the second-hand love. This also meant that he was the clearest headed out of the trio when Grian was around. This is going to be important in a sec.

Cut to Tango’s fireworks shop. The trio was sitting, trying to figure out how to seduce Grian. Zed sighed as Tango and Impulse kept proposing more hare-brain schemes, each one more outrageous and impossible than the last. Just then, fireworks sounded in the distance, slowly getting closer. Tango and Impulse were too distracted to hear but Zed looked up to see a familiar shape in the sky. Smirking at his good fortune, Zed glanced back at his boyfriends and satisfied that they were oblivious, he snuck out of the shop and followed the fireworks.

Luckily for Zed, Grian landed nearby, clearly looking to do some stuff at the ever-breaking Sahara. Zed walked up to Grian, who noticed him approaching and greeted him with a warm smile. Zedaph put on his flirtiest expression and replied:

“Hello, handsome! Wanna have a foursome?” Grian’s face turned redder than lava. Zedaph snickered and sidled up to the small hermit.

“No, but in all seriousness, Tango and Impulse have been planning ridiculous ways to get you to date us and I just figured the direct approach may be the best one. So, ya in?”

Grian continued to hide his face in his hands but after a few seconds, he nodded.

“Yeah,” he managed quietly. Zed grinned and kissed him on the forehead, which did not help the redness of Grian’s face.

“Come on!” Zedaph laughed and started dragging Grian towards the fireworks shop, “Let's tell our boyfriends the good news!” He did not miss the smile that formed on Grian’s face at the possessive adjective.

When they arrived back at the shop, Tango and Impulse were still debating their outrageous ideas. Zedaph and Grian stood in the entrance but the pair were none the wiser to their presence. As he listened to the crazy ideas being thrown around, Grian couldn’t help but start giggling. This was the noise that finally broke the bubble around the two redstoners. They turned as one and froze when they realized who was laughing.

“Oh shi-! Hi! Grian! How much did you hear?” Tango fumbled.

“Enough,” Grian grinned, then marched up to Tango and kissed him straight on the lips. Something in Tango’s brain short-circuited and he just stood there, blinking. Impulse wasn’t much better.

“Oh dear,” Zedaph cackled as he walked up to Grian and wrapped his hand around Grian’s waist, “I think you broke them, babe!”

Impulse was the first to return to cognitive function.

“Wha? How?” he managed. Zedaph giggled,

“While you two were making up crazy schemes, I decided to take the direct route. I asked Grian out and he said yes!”

Tango shook his head in shock, then threw it backwards and started laughing. The rest soon joined him, and four voices mixed together in a tiny bubble of elation. Zedaph glanced sideways at the hermit whose waist he was currently holding and, at that moment, Zed truly fell in love with the sweater-wearing gremlin, just like his boyfriends before him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unholy shishkebabs! This story trumped all of my other ones with 200 words more than I usually write! Crazy! Thank you, Maddox_Named_Galaxy for getting my creative juices flowing! This was so fun to write! I hope it's what you wanted!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> PS: another spot the reference! Can anyone tell me what show Grian loved watching? (It's in the first paragraph)  
> (in all honesty, I'll be very surprised if no-one gets that reference!)  
> PPS: there's an extra reference in this AN. This one is a little harder ;)


	12. Ren/Xisuma - over working or working over?

Set during season 7

The tree farm was kicking Ren’s butt. He was never very good at redstone, even if he did manage the occasional farm. But this was on a whole different level: the need for precise timing, the use of tnt and a million other things were huge trouble. He was starting to think that manually chopping trees may be more efficient! And he couldn’t even devote all of his time to the project. Big Logz Inc. wasn’t going to run itself and all the members needed to be paid (even if those “members” were in reality just him).

So, he spent half his days restocking the blimp and making deliveries and the other working on the huge tree farm that just refused to cooperate! Soon, it began showing. He had dark circles behind his eyes and his head drooped. He could feel the tiredness in his limbs, but he couldn’t stop. Not now. He kept going.

Rockets sounded above his head and he looked up to see a familiar figure glide to a landing near him. His shoulders sagged a little as his boyfriend approached, taking off his helmet and grinning at him. Xisuma smiled warmly and pulled Ren into a hug before kissing his forehead.

“Hi, babe,” X grinned sweeping Ren’s hair out of his face. Ren leaned into the touch, but due to his exhausted state, he ended up leaning a little too much into X, who grunted as he barely managed to regain his balance.

“Hey!” X shook Ren slightly to help him awake, then noticed how tired he was.

“Aww man, you’ve really done it this time!” X shook his head and started dragging the very tired dog hybrid away from his machine. Ren whined but he was too wiped out to put up any real struggle as X hauled him to the small bedroom that they had built in dead dog gulch.

“You’ve seriously got to stop overworking yourself, babe,” X told Ren sometime later as they lay in bed. The rings around Ren’s eyes hadn’t disappeared but they’d gotten a little less noticeable and the spark that had disappeared from stress had returned to his eyes. Ren grinned and wrapped his hand around X’s waist.

“You’re a hypocrite, X,” he smirked, still remembering the numerous times that he’d had to manhandle X away from his admin duties and into bed.

“Doesn’t give you the right to do the same thing,” X countered, laying his head on Ren’s chest.

“Mmm, you’re a bad influence,” Ren agreed, absentmindedly running his hands through X’s hair. Before Ren knew it, he was yawning and hugging X closer.

“5 more minutes?” X chuckled, feeling like he could use them too.

“Yeah,” Ren mumbled.

They ended up sleeping until the next day when they were awoken by a very nervous Grian. Ren sighed and cracked an eye open.

“W-what’s going on?” X slurred, still half asleep.

“So, I was trying to prank Mumbo, as you do…” Grian launched into a long and complicated explanation of how he had broken something, again. X moaned unhappily as he heaved himself out of bed and got dressed, then left with Grian to help solve the issue. Ren, on the other hand, stayed in bed for at least an hour more before he finally managed to get the strength and courage to leave the warm covers and dress.

The day of rest was certainly much needed for the CEO of Big Logz Inc., but it also meant that he had lost some pretty valuable time, so he spent the morning in the shopping district. Afterwards, Ren realised that he had to finish his contraption so, with a heavy heart he dragged himself back to dead dog gulch. Only he didn’t find a half-built machine there. He found Xisuma, Mumbo, Doc and Grian, all building the machine from his blueprint.

“Oh, cra-,” Xisuma cursed, noticing him, “You weren’t supposed to back yet, babe!”

“What the heck is going on here?” Ren asked, raising his eyebrows.

“You’ve been working so hard on this, so we thought we might give ya a hand!” Grian grinned.

“We know how hard it is to build something of this scale, and you’ve helped a lot of people in the past…” Doc shrugged.

“Don’t look at me!” Mumbo raised his hands in an apologetic gesture, “They dragged me over here to help them. Though I have to admit, this a pretty awesome machine you’ve chosen to create here!”

Ren didn’t know what to say, he just stood there speechless for a moment then flung himself at X, tail wagging like crazy. X oof-ed as Ren barrelled into him but he was somewhat prepared, and he simply hugged his excited boyfriend back.

“I take it that you like it?” X grinned as they let each other go.

“It’s perfect!” Ren told him truthfully, admiring the product of the hard work of him and his friends.

“Well, it’s not finished yet,” Mumbo noticed, being too much of a spoon to notice the moment. The rest groaned but smiled too, and with their combined efforts, they got the farm finished and working in no time.

Ren was sure to thank Mumbo, Doc and Grian with a gift of logs. X got a big sloppy kiss, which he didn’t seem to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like that tree farm, this chapter whooped my butt. I hope it was worth the wait, MadHatterThorns! To be honest, these feel like they are getting harder and harder to write as my brain fills with new ideas for my next work. I'm not sure I can deliver these on the level I want to right now. So I have a question for those of you that still have requests on my list. Would you prefer that I do them now and risk that they might not be as good as I or you would like them to be, or should I put them on the back burner and focus on giving you guys my best writing? It's up to you! And, once again: If I don't get a reply by Sunday, Asheepanda, I'm going to have to bump you down the list! Geez!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	13. Bonus - There's no place like home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cosmos aligned to give me more spare time then I thought I'd have and I had this idea running around my head so here you go:

“Are you sure about this?” Grian asked, eyeing Doc and Scar as they prepared their equipment.

“You said it was the best place to study the paranormal, did you not?” Scar raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Grian agreed, “but it can get a little… deadly.”

“It has respawn, does it not?” Doc replied dryly.

“That doesn’t mean you won’t feel the pain of death,” Grian pointed out.

“We’ve been investigators of the strange long enough that nothing phases us anymore,” Scar said confidently. Grian shrugged and decided not to point out that they had built area 77 literally 2 weeks prior. When the duo was ready, he gave a thumbs-up to X, who tapped some button on his console and the three travellers were sucked in by a portal.

The trio landed with grace on the desert, all of them being used to inter-server travel. They dusted themselves off and started walking towards a town in the distance. It wasn’t long before they happened on a big welcome sign.

“There’s no place like home,” Grian announced happily. Scar and Doc pulled out their machines and started waving them at the sign.

“You’re holding that wrong, Scar,” Grian said after a moment.

“How did you know?” Scar asked incredulously when he checked and realised his mistake.

“One of my dads is a scientist,” Grian shrugged.

“Huh,” Scar muttered and went back to work.

“So far, nothing unusual,” Doc commented after a few minutes.

“Just you wait,” Grian grinned. The area 77 investigators packed up their equipment and the trio walked towards the outskirts of the town. They left behind them a large sign that said,

“Welcome to Night Vale!”

* * *

“Why hello there, Grian!” As they were walking, a man called out to them.

“John!” Grian stopped and started walking towards the man, forcing Doc and Scar to follow. He was dressed like a farmer, leaning against a fence. Behind him was a field with seemingly nothing growing in it.

“Excuse me, sir,” Scar said politely, “But where are your crops? Isn’t it farming season?”

“What do you mean, where are my crops, sonny? They’re right behind me!” John cried.

“They’re invisible?” Doc muttered, “Fascinating!”

“Invisible? Where the heck did you get invisible, laddie? What use would invisible corn have?” John seemed slightly appalled, giving Grian a “can you believe them?” sort of face. Grian shrugged his shoulders in a “what can you do?” gesture.

“My corn is imaginary, not invisible!”

“Excuse me?” Scar looked up from his notebook.

“Do you need your ears checked as well as your brain, lad? I said it’s imaginary, not invisible!”

“Can we take a closer look at it?” Doc asked, clearly intrigued.

“I’d rather you don’t,” John groused, “you could trample it,”

“But… it’s imaginary,” Scar said in a tone that sounded like he doubted the farmer’s sanity.

“Yes, and I can imagine you trampling it!” Scar and Doc looked like they wanted to argue but Grian dragged them away while bidding John the farmer farewell.

“Please don’t bother people,” Grian told them after they were out of earshot.

“But Grian,” Scar said as he extracted himself out of Grian’s grip, “That man was growing imaginary corn!”

“A perfectly respectable thing to grow around these parts,”

“Please tell me you’re joking,”

“Hey! I told you my hometown was weird! Now you can ask all the questions you want when we get to my dads because they understand scientific curiosity but try not to bother anyone else, okay?”

“Fine,” the scientists begrudgingly agreed.

They managed to make their way to the town centre without further incidents but when they got there, a glowing cloud started making their way towards them. Grian seemed unperturbed and simply pulled out an umbrella from his inventory. Scar and Doc huddled under it with him, just as the cloud came above them. Stuff started thudding against the umbrella but instead of rain, dead animals fell on the sidewalk. This continued on for about a minute when it abruptly stopped and the glowing cloud moved on, before disappearing around the corner. Grian simply folded the umbrella and started walking around the dead animals like nothing ever happened.

“What the heck was that?” Scar shouted as he too made his way between the carcasses to catch up to Grian.

“The glow cloud,” Grian answered simply.

“And where is it heading?” Scar asked, not satisfied with the answer.

“Probably to a PTA meeting,” Grian replied. Scar stared at him incredulously, just as Doc joined them with a dead lizard in a specimen bag.

As they made their way down the streets, Doc noted a large, ominous area, covered in a fence. Upon inquiry, Grian told him that that is the dog park and that neither dogs nor people are allowed in it. Doc decided it was probably better not to ask any more questions.

Finally, they arrived at a fairly normal-looking house. When Grian knocked, it was answered by a man in a lab coat that, although dirty, looked to be in a much better state then Doc’s. His face brightened when he saw Grian and two seconds later, the two were hugging. The man brightened even further when Grian told him Doc and Scar were scientists and moments later all three were in the living room, enjoying homemade cookies.

The two investigators learned three things that day:

  1. Grian’s dads’ names were Cecil and Carlos. Cecil was the local radio host and Carlos was a scientist investigating Night Vale.
  2. Grian had two biological dads, no mom and you were better off not asking how.
  3. Night Vale was even stranger than they thought (if that was possible).



As they were heading home, Scar tapped Grian on the shoulder.

“Yes?”

“Just out of interest G, how do you know they are your actual parents? How do you know they didn’t steal you or anything?”

Grian smirked and pushed up his signature bangs to reveal a third eye blinking owlishly at Scar.

“Yeah, okay, valid,” Scar muttered, leaning away from Grian. Grian laughed all the way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this particular plot bunny running round my head for a while, so, since I had some spare time, I decided to write it. Those of you who don't know the Welcome to Night Vale fandom are probably so confused! If you are one of them, then I highly recommend you check it out, it's a podcast on Spotify and other places and it is so weird, it's hilarious. Now, this will be a one-off because I don't have the time to write two stories at once. If you're wondering what I'm currently spending my spare time on and are part of the Seven Deadly Sins fandom then I highly recommend you do a little clickly-clickly on my name to check out my other story. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed and have a lovely day!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	14. Keralis and Xisuma - fortune favours the dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, birches!
> 
> Just kidding! I would never call you lovely and amazing people that! Enjoy!

Set in season 6

“So, are we doing this?” Keralis asked as he and Xisuma stood in front of the large building with the word “Escape” clearly written on the side. They marvelled at Cleo’s newest attraction.

“Yeah,” X smirked, looking back at his friend, “How long do you think it will take us to solve it?”

“Like, a few days?” Keralis suggested jokingly.

“Probably,” X shrugged, chuckling softly.

The pair entered into the room and X blocked up the entrance behind them. They immediately crowded over the lectern by the side and started reading from it. It said:

_I, Grandpa Joe, being of sound mind and soundish body bequeath my fortune to the people who can solve my puzzles and get through the door on the opposite side of the room._

_Signature_

_*Indecipherable script*_

“Oh, cool!” X cried, “So, like is the fireplace going to open to reveal the door,”

“Uh, Sheshwammy? The door’s right there,” Keralis pointed to the iron door right next to the aforementioned fireplace. Xisuma blushed and rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. Keralis giggled at his friend’s antics and the two of them spread out to examine the escape room.

“Where do we even start?” Keralis asked as they wandered around the room, poking everything and trying to move stuff in item frames. X shrugged as he frowned at some signs.

“Can you read Morse code?” he tugged Keralis over to the signs. Keralis shook his head and X sighed.

“Guess we just have to figure it out,”

“Hey! Sheshwammy, do you know chess?” Keralis waved his friend over to the armour stand baring Wels’ head. X hummed and walked around the chess patterned carpets.

“Well, it’s supposed to be a knight, so he’s the one on the left? No, that’s the tower. Oh! Right! He’s the horse! So, he can move here, here and here.” X pointed to the three spots.

“Wait, didn’t the sign say we can break carpet?” Keralis eyed the carpet of the three blocks. X nodded then proceeded to break the carpets. Under them, there were chests with hints.

“Finally, we’re getting somewhere!” X grinned and they examined the clues.

“Keralis, where are you?” X searched the room, confused. They had just been talking. Where was his friend?

“I’m pretty sure I’m backstage!” Came a muffled reply from the wall near him.

“What?” X’s eyebrows rose higher.

“Look next to the fish tank!” X walked over to the object in question and found the hole, just as Keralis exited it.

“We need a lantern!” Keralis told Xisuma excitedly. X just blinked.

“This leads into the fish tank,” X eyed the water as it bubbled in the light of the lantern.

“Time to swim with the fishes!” Keralis grinned, then cannonballed into the tank before X could stop him. Xisuma watched his friend nervously as he retrieved something from the bottom of the display. A few moments later, Keralis was back at the top, waving what looked like a waterproofed book in his hands.

“Found something!” Keralis looked very proud of himself. X shook his head in disbelief and took the book from Keralis as the wide-eyed man heaved himself from the tank.

“Appreciate the help,” Keralis muttered sarcastically as he lay on the floor.

“It’s a nursery rhyme,” X wasn’t paying him any attention.

“What the heck does that mean?”

“Hey, X! I just found a secret room!”

“What?! I just checked that painting!”

“I’m telling you man; it’s got to be the coral.”

“Yeah, I know, but we’re still missing something here!”

“We’re going to die in here!”

“We’ve only been here for 20 minutes.”

“Yes! It opened!” Keralis cried as they managed to finally figure out the configuration. The two bolted to iron door as if they were scared it was going to lock again. Inside, they found a lectern and a chest.

“Cool! Fortune!” Keralis grinned as he lifted a block of emeralds from the chest. He handed one to Xisuma who smirked and admired it too. They then turned to the lectern. It said:

_Congratulations!_

_You made it through the escape room by your wits or luck!_

They stopped reading at this point.

“Luck,” X told Keralis, “Definitely luck.” Keralis snickered.

_Well done!_

_Please take a token from the box!_

“Been there, done that!” Keralis waved the emerald block in front of X’s face, stopping him from reading.

“Keralis!” X pushed the block away from his face. He tried to look offended but found he couldn’t. Keralis was one of those people it was very hard to get mad at.

“So, what’s that last part?” Keralis asked innocently as if he wasn’t the reason his friend had stopped reading. X shook his head and turned back to the lectern.

_Remember to return all the props to their original locations!_

“Uh, Keralis,” X turned to his friend slowly, “Do you remember where all this stuff was?”

Keralis shook his head as his victory smile turned downwards. Xisuma glanced through the doorway to see the chaos they had caused.

“Oh, boy,” X pinched the bridge of his nose. Keralis smiled at him innocently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to asheepanda for requesting! We got there in the end! So, my other story is slowly coming to an end and I've decided to come back here. This community is the most supportive I've ever seen and I'm proud to be a part of it! I'm not opening requests back up just yet because I've got quite the list to finish first. Afterwards, I'll either move to another project again or I'll open requests again. I'll see. Keep your eyes on the tags!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	15. Xisuma has the self-care skills of a can of beans and everyone is concerned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bored.

Set during season 7

Xisuma could feel his eyelids drooping. He’d been fixing bugs for the last few days without rest. Normally, his wonderful boyfriend would have dragged him away by now, but Biffa was away for the week. Somewhere in the back of his head, X was aware that he should rest and that staying up wasn’t good for him but every time he decided that this glitch would be the last one, a new glitch popped up, demanding his attention.

As another line of code beeped to gain his attention, X sighed and run his hands through his hair and down onto his face. He groaned and looked out the window. Was it morning already? He had the distinct feeling he was forgetting something but as his screen pinged again, he rolled his aching neck and got back to work. It couldn’t be that important, could it?

Elsewhere, Docm77 was flying towards a familiar beehive. He and X had agreed to meet and discuss the golem glitch on his island. It was becoming important because the sheer number of golems was causing the entire server lag. The two had made a deal to meet at X’s to go over the code to see if they couldn’t find the glitch responsible and if that didn’t work, they’d fly over to Doc’s and see if they couldn’t find the problem there.

Doc slowly glided to a stop on one of the hexagonal platforms and disengaged his elytra. He strolled casually into the main atrium only to stop in shock. Xisuma was hunched over his computers, looking like death warmed over. He was pale and his hair was practically flat on his head, glistening with sweat. X was usually one of the hardest people to sneak up on, but he still hadn’t noticed Doc, despite the latter not hiding his presence one bit.

“X?” The man in question whirled around, sword in hand. When he saw it was only Doc, he relaxed and lowered his sword before hiding it into his inventory.

“Yes, Doc? What do you need help with?” X asked as if he didn’t look like a vampire.

“We were supposed to be dealing with the golems at my base today, dude,” Doc reminded the admin. A spark of memory flashed in X’s eyes and he nodded. He turned back to the screens.

“Let me just pull up the diagnostics and...” Doc stopped him there.

“It can wait, dude. I’m pretty sure your eye bags have eye bags,” Doc told him, concerned, “Get some rest, dude,”

“Isn’t it a bit hypocritical of you to say that?” X raised an eyebrow, “If Etho didn’t drag you away from your projects, you’d look just as bad,”

“Maybe,” Doc acquiesced, “But that doesn’t change the fact that you need to rest,”

“I’ll rest when I’m done, now either you want help with the golem glitch or you leave me alone,” X was too tired to be polite.

Doc saw that X was in a stubborn mood. He sighed and pulled out his communicator.

_Doc: X isn’t sleeping again._

X saw the message on his screen and glared at Doc. He didn’t have the time to do anything else because instantly the chat was spammed with 20 different variations of: “Go to sleep, X!”

_Xisuma: I’m fine guys, really._

Roughly 5 minutes later, half of the server was at X’s base. The hermits were very familiar with their admin’s bad habits and they weren’t about to let X drop dead from exhaustion. X protested vehemently but the hermits were just as stubborn, and this wasn’t going anywhere. As they were all arguing over each other, a familiar sound filled the air. Rockets. At first, no one gave it much notice, assuming it was just another hermit come to join the fray. They weren’t wrong in assuming that, but this particular hermit had a little more authority over X than others.

“What in the name of Jeb is going on here?” a British voice rang out, silencing all the rest. Biffa was back. He immediately got bombarded with 10 different people, all telling him that his boyfriend wasn’t sleeping again. But X had had enough. He stood up, probably to dispute the claims but before he could utter a word, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he swayed forward. Biffa caught him before he could faceplant on the floor.

“He’s fine,” Biffa announced to the worried hermits, “The sudden movement combined with exhaustion just knocked him out. He’ll be okay once he rests,”

The hermits dispersed, trusting Biffa to make sure that his boyfriend slept. Doc and Etho were the last to go, having helped Biffa shut down X’s computer. They stood on the balcony, reequipping their elytras.

“Man, X really needs to sleep more!” Doc chuckled as he did his final straps.

“Speaking of,” Etho looked at Doc, “When’s the last time you slept?”

“Uh, do you hear that? I think someone is calling me! Bye!” Doc rocketed off.

“Come back here, you hypocrite!” Etho chased after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, you go 50lizardsinatrenchcoat! I used your tl;dr as the title because it fits so perfectly. You've been very supportive and your one-shots are awesome. For those of you who haven't seen them, they're linked to this book! Check them out. I'm not sure about how often I'm going to upload because school is about to start right back up in Poland, but I'll see. The summer break is only about a month away. Happy children's day and, as always, warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	16. Doc/Mumbo/Grian - a height-ly important chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really bored. Sorry about the pun!

Set during season 6

Grian sighed as he stared as his chest monster. He was attempting spring cleaning in his huge base, but his lack of storage abilities was beating his butt. He opened yet another shulker box only to find string, carpet, fences and iron bars. He sighed, closing the box yet again, and turning to another. This was going to take a while.

Just as he was opening the colourful box, he heard rockets up ahead. Two figures dropped through the hollow centre of his base. One stumbled as they landed, almost faceplanting into the ground and the other landed heavily but somewhat gracefully. Grian knew who they were before he turned. His boyfriends walked over to where he was kneeling.

“Spring cleaning?” Mumbo glanced at the mess of shulkers surrounding his tiny boyfriend.

“An attempt,” Grian admitted truthfully. Doc walked over to the nearest box and peeked inside. He then quickly closed it again.

“How do you live like this, babe?”

“I manage,”

“Clearly,” Doc muttered dryly, indicating the mass of shulkers around them.

“Yes, well we’re not here to judge you,” Mumbo stated quickly, ignoring Grian’s “You’re not?”.

“We’re here to help!” Mumbo announced happily.

“Well, you could start by not standing there like statues,” Grian muttered, without any fire in his voice, “I have enough stuff towering over me as is,”

Doc and Mumbo exchanged glances. They knew perfectly well that Grian was rather self-conscious about his height. Compared to him, they looked like giants despite being only slightly taller than average. Doc glanced at Mumbo to see a spark of mirth in his eyes. Mumbo walked up to Grian and lifted him off the ground. Despite his stature, Mumbo was actually rather strong and he somehow managed to lift Grian onto his shoulders. Grian wobbled but managed to catch his balance atop the moustached hermit.

“Whoa! What the heck, Mumbo?” Grian looked down at his boyfriend.

“Now you tower over us,” Mumbo shrugged his shoulders. This caused them both to wobble slightly but they managed to stop themselves from falling. Doc had to bite the inside of his lip to stop himself from snickering. Grian looked around with an expression of wonder on his face. He grinned and looked at Doc.

“Everything looks so small from up here!” He told Doc with genuine awe in his voice. Mumbo and Doc smiled at each other, internally cooing at the cuteness that was their boyfriend. Then a troublemaker grin made its way onto Grian’s face.

“I’m taller than you!” He told Doc, clearly trying to get back at him for all the times he made fun of Grian’s height.

“This doesn’t count,” Doc told him, both amused and exasperated.

“Sure, it does!”

“Not really.”

“But technically…”

“Nope.”

“Oh, come on!” Grian threw his hands in the air. Unfortunately, he forgot just how dangerous his position was and the sudden movement was enough to make Mumbo lose his balance. The two hermits toppled backwards and fell into the shulker mess behind them. Doc rushed to their side to see if they were alright.

“We’re fine,” Mumbo mumbled as he extracted himself from the wreckage. Grian just made a noise that sounded vaguely like agreement. Doc picked his smaller boyfriend out from the wreckage and held him bridal style.

“Now you’re definitely not taller,” He grinned at the blonde in his arms. Grian wiggled in an attempt to free himself but Doc was having none of it. He began pressing small kisses all over Grian’s face, making the tiny hermit shrink back in embarrassment. He also giggled slightly because Doc had a small stubble and it was tickling his face. Doc paused for a second and exchanged smirks with Mumbo who had since stood up and was rubbing a small bruise on the back of his head. Doc set Grian down gently, but the builder didn’t have time to do anything before his boyfriends started tickling him. Needless to say, they didn’t have much luck in organising the chest monster.

A few days later, Grian messaged his boyfriends to meet him in New Hermitville. They obliged, wondering what their boyfriend was up to now. They stood there waiting when they heard something that sounded like footsteps. They turned to see one of the strangest sights they had seen in a while.

Grian had managed to fashion himself stilts out of bamboo and was now towering over them, grinning like a lunatic.

“Now I’m definitely taller!” he crowed, very satisfied with himself. Doc and Mumbo started laughing, unable to control themselves. Grian just pouted at them and attempted to kick them but in doing so, lost his balance. They managed to catch him before he ate the dust (literally). Doc and Mumbo helped him up. Grian turned back to him now broken stilt.

“I just wanted to be tall like you guys,” he said sadly.

“That’s okay, babe,” Mumbo told him, kissing him on one cheek.

“We like you just the way you are,” Doc finished for him, kissing his other cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day? Le gasp! Thank you, Uwu hours, for requesting this piece. If I could draw, I would so draw Grian on stilts. I just thought of it near the end and I'm just gonna be laughing at this for the rest of the day!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	17. stress/false/cleo - the best way to spend a friday night

Set in season 6

False had an extra spring in her step as she walked through the shopping district. Today was Friday, which, for False, meant sleepover night with her girlfriends. They had been unusually busy this week, so this was the first time they were going to properly spend time together since last Friday. False just needed to sort out a few more errands and then she’d pack some stuff and fly over to Stress’ castle. She couldn’t wait.

As she was flying towards the icebergs, Cleo decided that she was the luckiest woman alive. Ever since her accident, Cleo had had a hard time maintaining any kind of relationships. The whole “being a zombie” thing kinda put people off. For a long time, the only stable relationship she had was with a certain poet. Then they both joined Hermitcraft and everything changed.

Here, they had welcomed her with open arms. Here, they didn’t care what species she was. Here, she was safe. And most importantly, it was on Hermitcraft that she met her wonderful girlfriends. She wouldn’t trade her life for any other in the world, even if it would mean being human again. Cleo smiled to herself as she saw the castle emerge on the horizon. Stress’ building skill never ceased to take her breath away and every time she visited, something new appeared. She was very lucky indeed, to have such awesome girlfriends.

Stress danced down the hallways, a song on her lips and a rhythm in her feet. It was finally Friday! Her heart jumped at the reminder that her girlfriends could be here at any moment now. She couldn’t wait to attach herself to False and Cleo like “an over-eager octopus” (Cleo’s words, not hers). She practically sprinted to the courtyard when she heard rockets. Cleo was just landing as Stress flung herself into her girlfriend. Cleo huffed slightly but managed to catch Stress. The two hugged for a moment, just enjoying the other’s presence before separating.

“I take it that you missed me?” Cleo smirked, her body still in close proximity to Stress’.

“Why wouldn’t I miss mah awesome girlfriend?” Stress smiled as she hugged Cleo once more. Cleo was very happy that Stress couldn’t see the heat rising to her cheeks. They broke apart when they heard the tell-tale noise of rockets that announced False’s arrival. Stress squealed, detached herself from Cleo and practically flew towards False. False, with her superior reflexes, caught Stress in the air and used her momentum to lift her into the air and swing her in a circle around herself while Stress laughed.

They walked into the castle, laughing and talking while making their way to a familiar bedchamber. Stress had built it with the express purpose of housing all three of them in mind. It was large and spacious with a king-sized bed as the centrepiece. The furnishings were simple enough to appeal to all three of them and the wardrobe housed clothing for all three of them. And if sharing a wardrobe meant that they sometimes ended up with clothes that weren’t their own, they didn’t mind. Unless one of them stretched Stress’ jumpers. Then there was hell to pay. False and Cleo learned that rather quickly.

Roughly 15 minutes later, the girls were lounging on the bed. Stress was painting Cleo’s nails black (the only colour Cleo would allow near her nails) while False brushed her curly brown hair. They were gossiping about everything under the sun, from Sahara’s opening to Rendog’s skincare routine.

“And then I told him: no way!” Cleo was recounting some earlier adventure. Stress and False listened in rapt attention. It was already late, but the trio was in a world of their own, completely oblivious to the outside world. That was until Stress yawned. It was an unspoken rule of these sleepovers that when Stress yawned, it was time to go to bed. So, they finished up what they were doing and snuggled under the covers. Stress in the middle being spooned by False and hugged by Cleo. Stress was out like a light, leaving her girlfriends to admire her.

“How did we get so lucky?” Cleo asked softly, running her fingers gently through Stress’ hair. False leaned forward gently, enveloping Stress further.

“I have no idea,” she replied quietly, sharing a warm smile with Cleo before falling asleep with a sigh. Cleo watched them both with a smile on her face. In the moonlight, they looked like goddesses rivalling Aphrodite herself. Cleo watched them with a smile on her face, soaking in their sight and their smell, allowing it to lull her to sleep.

In the morning, Stress was the first to awake. She stretched like a cat and smiled as she saw Cleo’s nose inches from her own. Cleo’s face was relaxed in a rare display of innocence and Stress couldn’t get enough of the sight. She leaned back into False and sighed sleepily. Maybe just a few more minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was going to write the third instalment of drama queen doc next but I still don't know which episode I'm suppose to use. 50lizards if you could please tell me, that would make my life so much easier! Thank you, octopus_defence, for submitting this awesome request, it was a lot of fun writing the girls! Please don't expect me to have an upload schedule, I've decided it's more trouble than its worth. I'll just write as often as I can!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	18. Drama queen Doc pt.3 - The Goatfather and the dangers of staying up too late

Set during season 7

False really didn’t know what she’d been expecting. This was Doc after all. She had seen a glimpse of his season 7 persona during the wrestling competition, but it had been a small prelude of what was to come. She couldn’t lie, she had been a little apprehensive when Doc asked her to meet him at the casino. While not having experienced much of Doc this season yet, she had been talking to Ren, who lamented Doc’s drama queen tendencies. Given that Ren himself was a huge drama queen, False took his statements with a grain of salt but that didn’t mean that she didn’t believe them.

She hesitated for a moment before descending down the stone staircase, her footsteps echoing as she made her way down. She walked into a room full of armour stand people. Probably Cleo’s work. She could even see her own head on one of them. While not exactly creepy, the scene was unsettling. In the corner was Doc, his head down like he was snoozing. But False could see that his robotic eye was trained on her. So, he was acting. False knew about his tendencies, having been on his team during the civil war, and knew that the best thing to do was to play along.

“Hello?” she asked uncertainly. Doc grinned and made his way into the middle of the room.

“Hello False, I have a business proposition for you…”

He wanted her to kill Bdubs. Why wasn’t she surprised? Those two had been feuding since the start of the season. If Doc wasn’t taken, she might’ve assumed that there was some sort of sexual tension but as it was, she could tell that the two didn’t hate each other. Not really. The way Doc talked about Bdubs; you could tell that they were old friends. This feud seemed more like a joke than anything. A joke False didn’t mind taking part in. Hey, it’d get her the tag, wouldn’t it? The whole thing seemed (more than) a bit dramatic but it was Doc she was dealing with. Drama was probably his middle name (not really, it was Steven).

So, as it was, False was hidden in the corner waiting for the right moment to pounce. Bdubs had his hands up, having backed himself into a corner, trying to talk Doc down. The look on his face when Doc tossed him the tag almost made False laugh. She held it in though because that would spoil the surprise and she’d much rather see Bdubs’ face then.

She saw Doc giving her the covert signal and she grinned. Leaping into action she attacked the unsuspecting builder from behind, finishing him off before he could even finish his exclamation. She picked up the stuff, keeping the tag and putting the rest in a shulker box for Bdubs to collect. She then threw the head towards Doc.

“Pleasure doing business with ya,” she grinned. He didn’t reply and instead donned the head. He then began laughing maniacally. False took a step back. At the same time, Bdubs respawned. He took one look at the situation and ran out the door. False followed his lead. Once they were outside, they could still hear the laughter reverberating through the walls.

“Is he alright?” False asked, concerned.

“He does that,” Bdubs gave her a weak smile. They waited for a little longer, the evil laugh showing no signs of stopping.

“Should we call Impulse?”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

Impulse arrived on the scene, took one look at it and sighed deeply. Don’t get him wrong, he loved Doc to pieces but sometimes his diva-ness took things a little too far. It mainly tended to scare the bejesus out of people (see Mumbo). False and Bdubs both had a mixture of concern and unease written on their faces.

“I know how he can get sometimes,” Bdubs told him worriedly, “But he’s been doing that for the last 10 minutes,” Impulse sighed again.

“Did he look tired?” he asked False, having some idea of the events that had happened prior.

“Now that you mention it, he kinda did.”

“The idiot’s probably sleep deprived,” Impulse shook his head in annoyance, “He gets a little cuckoo if he hasn’t gotten enough sleep.”

“Don’t we all?” False smiled at Impulse. She gave him a nod and prepped her elytra for launch. As she was flying away, she saw Impulse and Bdubs entering the house once more to presumably subdue Doc and get him into a bed. She chuckled under her breath. Doc was certainly a drama queen. And she wouldn’t trade him away for anyone else. He made life on the server interesting (not that he really needed to, the server was plenty interesting). Besides, he was one of the hermits. And that made him family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I managed to combine two requests in this one-shot: 50lizards' for drama queen doc pt 3 and Falseredvelvet's for a False-centric episode. Two loaves on one fire! (I know that the English version for this saying is two birds with one stone but I don't condone throwing rocks at birds, so I used the Polish version) Have an awesome Friday and weekend, and warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	19. grian and xisuma - admin assistance

Set during season 7

It started with the rain. No one noticed at first, too absorbed in their various projects to notice the drizzle wasn’t stopping. Eventually, though, they noticed. Xisuma suddenly had multiple messages about the rain being broken. He checked the code confusedly; it seemed alright. But when he tried to clear the weather, he found he couldn’t. Nothing he did seemed to work. Sighing deeply, he called a server meeting.

Grian was never a big fan of rain. It interfered with work and made him wet. If he stayed out too long, his sweater got wet and shrunk and that was possibly the worst feeling in life, second only to dying. He grumbled as he flew towards the cow-mercial district. He had seen the messages of course and knew that this was probably the best course of action but that didn’t mean that he liked it. He sighed in relief as he entered the warm nether. He really hoped his sweater didn’t shrink.

No such luck. As he entered the temporary tent that someone had set up, he could feel the sleeves chafing. He muttered angrily under his breath and sat down in a corner to assess the damage. Just as he was checking the sweater over, X stood up to quieten the bustle.

“I know this is inconvenient for you guys, but I want to keep an eye out for everyone just in case this part of some bigger glitch that threatens the respawn!” He told them all in an authoritative manner. There were some grumblings from the crowd, but no protests erupted. Everyone knew that X just wanted what was best for them. Grian sighed and went back to glaring at his shrunken sweater.

As time wore on, Grian became more and more fidgety. There was now a small gathering around Xisuma and his screens, the more tech-literate hermits attempting to help the overwhelmed admin with solving the problem so they could all go back to their lives. Despite himself, Grian found himself gravitating towards the screens. The familiar quiet hum reminded him of his days as an admin. It had been a while, but coding wasn’t something you forget quickly. His hand subconsciously drifted to his inactive admin tattoo, on his left bicep. A reminder of his years of admin training.

He stood on the edge of the group, tiptoeing to see above the shoulders of the taller hermits. The code on the screens passed by quickly but years of experience made it easy for him to follow. They also allowed him to spot the mistake. In his worry, Xisuma had forgotten the DRM (I just made that up). It was step 3 in the basic bug-fixing procedure but Grian didn’t blame X for forgetting it. In fact, Grian had done the exact same thing way back when. It was a 2-minute fix.

“Uh, X?” Grian started.

“I’m busy, Grian,” came the snappish reply.

“Yeah, but…”

“Busy.”

“I can see that, X,” Grian could feel the annoyance rising up.

“So, leave me alone,” X told him firmly. Grian started to argue but Doc shut him down.

“You heard him, G. Scram and let the big boys fix it.”

Anger bubbled to the surface. They would have fixed the problem by now if they just listened to him. He wanted to scream. But he saw the room. Everybody was looking at him in disapproval or annoyance. Even Mumbo looked disappointed. Grian couldn’t take it anymore. He stormed out into the rain. Before he knew it, he was retracing a familiar path to the barge. He entered under the glass roof and just stopped. He was soaked and his sweater was probably going to shrink again once it dried but he didn’t care. The anger coursing through his veins kept him warm.

He kicked one of the shulker boxes. It only hurt his foot, but it felt somewhat good to take out his anger on something. Over the patter of rain, he heard footsteps running towards him. X only stopped running when he was under the protection of the glass ceiling. Grian just glared.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of Xisuma’s mouth. Grian looked at him and raised an eyebrow. X took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I dismissed you, Grian. It’s just everyone is on edge because of glitch. I know you’re frustrated but I’m doing my best to fix it…”

“You would have fixed it by now if you just listened to me!” Grian interrupted him. X stared at him, uncomprehendingly. Grian threw his hands up in the air and power-walked back towards the tent. X practically had to run to catch up.

Grian stormed into the tent. In the back of his mind, he registered the way the hermits parted for him. He must have looked quite scary due to his normally sunny nature, but he didn’t care. He pushed someone away from the screens and tapped out a few buttons. He brought up a screen and practically threw it at Xisuma.

“It’s the DRM. It’s always the f*cking DRM!” He was acutely aware of the stares now. This was probably the first time the hermits had heard him swear. X just blinked and tapped a few buttons. All of a sudden, the quiet tapping on the tent stopped. The tent was silent. X found his voice first.

“H-how?” he asked, bewildered. Grian wordlessly pulled down the neck of his already abused sweater to reveal part of his admin tattoo. X looked like he wanted to facepalm.

“I’m an idiot,” he said quietly, “I’m an idiot for forgetting the DRM and an idiot for ignoring you.”

Grian finally felt the grip of his anger relent. He took a deep breath and sighed.

“You’re not an idiot for forgetting the DRM,” he told X calmly, “Everyone forgets the DRM. That’s why it’s always the DRM.” He gave X a small smile.

“But I can’t deny you’re an idiot for ignoring me,” X massaged his temples.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he repeated, “How can I make it up to you?”

Grian patted him on the shoulder.

“You can fix my sweater,” he grinned at X who stared at him disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: it was the day-night cycle that was supposed to be broken but then I listened to "Umbrella" by Rihanna and yep. Thank you to Dark Entity for requesting! This chapter kinda got away with me and I haven't even had breakfast. My stomach is protesting so I'mma go.  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> Ps: requests are now open again! I still have three on my list but I really wanna see what ideas you guys have! Feel free to request down in the comments below!


	20. ZIT/Grian - trouble in paradise

Set during season 6

The second Grian saw grey, he knew there would be trouble. He had been editing his tall house. The build-off had ended a while ago but he was still somewhat unsatisfied with the details on it, so he was placing details here and there, periodically flying away to see if he was satisfied with the results.

He spotted the grey and was instantly on edge. It was moments like these that he regretted starting demise. Sure, it was fun and all, but the constant fear of traps wasn’t doing anything for his frayed nerves. He relaxed slightly when he saw that the grey-skins in question were Tango and Impulse. Wait, Tango and Impulse? When did they die? He pulled out his communicator and his eyes focused on the death messages.

_TangoTek blew up_

_ImpulseSV blew up_

The messages were dated to almost the same time, so they probably died from the same thing. A tnt trap by the looks of it. He smiled and waved at his boyfriends.

“Got demised?” he asked, although the answer was obvious.

“How did you guess?” Impulse snarked.

“The grey skins kinda gave it away,” Grian snarked back. Impulse rolled his eyes and Tango sighed quietly.

“You know, you could have warned us,” He told Grian.

“Huh?”

“About the trap in the derp mall,”

“What the heck is the derp mall?” Grian asked, bewildered (AN: I know Grian probably knows about the derp mall, but I can’t remember any instances of him actually being there, so maybe he doesn’t).

“Oh, don’t play dumb!” Tango growled, “We know you set that trap with the demise shop and custom orders! It has your trickster fingerprints all around it!”

“The living aren’t supposed to set traps!” Grian was frustrated at the accusation.

“Well, nothing in the rule book says that you can’t. And it’s exactly your style to bend the rules of your own game!”

“Don’t deny it!” Impulse added before Grian could interrupt, “You knew that we were going to disarm traps!” That much was true. Grian was well aware of the fact that his boyfriends had gone to find and disarm traps. But he hadn’t set any himself.

“I didn’t set that trap!” He jumped down and got in their faces. In hindsight, this wasn’t a clever move but Grian wasn’t known for forethought. Before anyone could say anything else, Tango slapped Grian. Hard.

There was a moment of shocked silence. Everyone just quietly processed what had happened. Grian touched his stinging cheek. He stared at Tango, tears forming in his eyes and flew off. Tango and Impulse just stood there in shock. Then something hit them both upside the heads. They turned around to see a very pissed Zedaph.

Grian hid on top of the nether hub. In the higher level, the doorways had small ledges on which you could hide. No one would look for him here. When he settled against the netherrack and started sobbing. His oldest friend hated him. He had just been slapped. All because of some stupid game! Grian really couldn’t get anything right. He was a useless human being. He sobbed harder.

Tango was on the edge of tears. He had messed up big time. Grian would probably break up with him over this. So would Impulse and Zedaph. All because of some stupid game! He had just been so frustrated because of dying and had unfairly taken it out Grian. What had he been thinking? They were walking down the corridors of the nether hub, looking for Grian. For some reason, the nether hub was one of Grian’s favourite places. Tango was sure Grian had explained it at some point.

The memory hit him full force. They were sitting on the edge of the nether hub, hand in hand. Grian told him then. He told Tango that he liked the nether hub because it reminded him of Tango. It made him feel safe. Tango brushed aside the memory, determination flooding into him. He had to find Grian.

His demon ears caught the sobbing first. He bolted forward, leaving Impulse and Zedaph behind. He didn’t see the arm Zedaph put in front of Impulse to stop from following immediately. Tango burst out in a flurry of movement to the central map. He looked around frantically, trying to find the tiny trickster. Out of the corner of his eye, Tango saw movement. He finally looked up. On one of the doorway ledges was a small hermit, curled into a ball, sobbing quietly. He hadn’t seen Tango yet.

Tango unfurled his wings and flew up to the ledge. Grian saw him and looked at him with puffy brown eyes. Tango landed gently next to him, then silently spread his arms out. Grian pulled himself into the hug and started sobbing into Tango’s chest. The demon gently ran his claws through Grian’s golden locks. Quietly reassuring him.

“Tango?”

“Yes?”

“Do you hate me?” Tango’s heart broke in two.

“Never,” He told Grian firmly, “Never.”

By the time Tango managed to coax Grian down, Impulse and Zedaph had caught up with them. Impulse hesitantly approached the duo, before being pulled into a hug by a crying Grian. He blinked in shock, then pulled the smaller hermit closer to his chest, letting him cry into his shirt.

“I’m so sorry, G,” he told the tiny hermit, “It’s all just a silly game. Tango and I were just frustrated that we died. But it was our fault that we died, regardless of who set the trap.”

“I didn’t,” Grian said, his voice muffled by Impulse’s shirt, “I don’t even know what or where the derp mall is.”

“Wait, really?” Tango asked, confused. Grian nodded hesitantly from his hiding place. Tango put his hands on Grian shoulders grinning at the smaller hermit in disbelief.

“Seriously?” He asked a smile on his face to reassure Grian that he wasn’t mad. Grian just nodded his head. Zedaph, Impulse and Tango exchanged amused glances. Leave it to Grian to be so absorbed in his projects that he missed a whole segment of the shopping district. Tango scooped up his small boyfriend and took him down to the shopping district portal.

“Then we’re going to show you!” He told Grian. And that’s exactly what they did. They spent the rest of the day touring the server, finding new places to explore. And if Grian was a little more tactile-fixated than usual, his boyfriends were more than happy to oblige him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: tactile-fixation means you want to constantly hold onto people. I learned that one from another fanfic. Sorry about the long wait, Maddox_Named_Galaxy but it was unavoidable. I have a long weekend rn and I would've posted yesterday but I didn't have the time. I'm probably going to post a lot less this week cause I'm seeing my nephew and I haven't seen him for a while as well as my brother and sister-in-law. I'm probably going to post more next week to make up for it since I know I'll have more time.  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel  
> Ps: Timelord Joe. Yay or nay? (you can use that for yourselves cause I might not write that for a while if at all)


	21. Grian/Xisuma - the gun conundrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purposes of this one-shot, Evo didn't happen. Grian went straight from YHS to hermitcraft.

Set during season 7

When Xisuma asked to meet with Grian privately, Grian couldn’t imagine what it was about. He hadn’t done any huge pranks recently or started any new minigames. A small, treacherous part of him whispered that it might be because Xisuma found out about Grian’s feelings towards him but the more rational part of him reminded him that Xisuma wasn’t the type for open confrontation. Still, it put him on edge.

Xisuma was waiting nervously for Grian. Mumbo was beside him, similarly fidgeting with his fingers. On the table was the offending article. A container the size of a shoebox, containing a bunch of pieces that looked like they were some sort of machinery. But none of the redstoners could figure out what the heck it was. So, they were confronting the person in who’s base the box was found. Mumbo had found it hidden in the mansion, which is why he was there as well. They both stiffened further as they heard the sound of rockets.

As Grian landed, he had his standard troublemaker smile on. It slipped off his face as soon as he saw the box.

“That’s mine,” Grian’s voice didn’t have his standard cheeriness in it. It was almost cold.

“We know,” Xisuma shifted uncomfortably, “And we shouldn’t have taken it without asking, but we’re concerned, Grian. What is this?”

Grian approached the table and lifted the box lid. His hand hovered over the pieces before he reached inside and pulled some of them out. His hands went on autopilot, moving faster then usual, putting all of the pieces together to form a single object. Within minutes, there was a gun in Grian’s hands. Mumbo and Xisuma’s eyes widened. Grian just stared at the gun as if he couldn’t comprehend it. It fell onto the table, but the clatter couldn’t be heard over the noise of rockets of someone taking off. X and Mumbo watched in shock as Grian became a speck in the distance.

As Grian flew down to the steps of his mansion, he couldn’t help the tears streaming down his cheeks. They knew now. They knew he was broken. And even if they didn’t, they’d find out. And they’d want him gone. They’d want him to disappear. No-one wanted a broken product. That was a fact. He sat on the steps, watching possibly his last sunset on Hermitcraft.

Rockets sounded overhead and Xisuma landed semi-gracefully next to Grian. Grian curled further into himself. Xisuma started to reach out then thought better of it. Instead, he sat down next to the small hermit and just let him calm down. When Grian stopped sobbing, Xisuma put a gentle arm on his back, careful not to startle the sweater wearer.

“Grian?” he asked softly. Grian just sniffled and looked at him. “What’s going on?”

Grian tearfully explained about his horrible high school years. About how he was friends with a murderer and learned how to use a gun to protect himself. How his best friend died and how he was forced to take his place. Grian kept a gun locked away in his base to protect himself.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered brokenly, “You probably want me off the server now.”

“What? No!” Xisuma shook his head vigorously.

“But… I’m broken,” Grian said quietly. Xisuma stared at him in shock and disbelief. He had gone through so much. He had every right to be worried that something like that might happen again and he was clearly a victim of PTSD. He couldn’t actually think himself broken, right? But when he looked in Grian’s eyes he saw something that shook him to his core. Guilt. Grian felt guilty about being a survivor. There was no way that Xisuma would allow such an amazing hermit believe that he was broken. So, X did something he hadn’t done in years. He took off his helmet.

A long time ago, that helmet was his life support. After the accident, he had trouble breathing and the helmet allowed him to move around without being hooked up to a mass of machinery. Over the years, he recovered, and the helmet became purely aesthetic. Xisuma found that most people couldn’t look him in the eye with his scars and he kept the helmet on because of that.

Now, he looked Grian in the eye, a scar in the shape of an x across his whole face. The doctors said it was a miracle that he still had his eyes. Grian took in a sharp breath. He stared at X to a point when the admin felt a little uncomfortable.

“You have really pretty eyes,” Grian told him in quiet awe.

“That’s not the thing most people focus on, but thanks,” Xisuma grinned, thoroughly amused. Grian seemed to process what he had just said, and his face turned as red as his sweater. He buried it into X’s shoulder.

“Did I really just say that?” Grian asked, his voice muffled slightly. Xisuma’s whole body shook with laughter.

Roughly a month later, X was preparing for the arrival of a new hermit. His helmet was laying discarded somewhere in his base because his new boyfriend had told him that “he looked much prettier without that rust bucket!”. Grian was standing around, a little nervous. X had asked him to be a part of the welcoming committee. He hadn’t told Grian why. As X struck a few final keys, a familiar portal appeared. A figure in a blue tee-shirt and headphones hanging from his neck walked out of the portal. Grian and Taurtis stared at each other in shock before hastily hugging each other.

X smiled as he watched the pair reunite. After Grian had told him about his experiences, X looked into the tragedy. He had noted some inconsistencies about the reports on Taurtis’ death and had found out that he was, in fact, alive. He watched with a smile on his face as his boyfriend hugged his best friend. It might take a while but he was sure that given love and support, Grian would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go, XxPZMistxX! One gun-wielding Grian! I hope this can count as your angst, Moji964, because this is probably the agnstiest thing I will ever write. I am a sunny ball of fluff, thank you very much!  
> Warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel


	22. Scar/Grian/Zedaph - the blushing game

Set during season 6

Grian and his boyfriends had this game. Whoever got one of the others to blush in any way, got a point. Zedaph was currently in the lead, his smooth-talking defeating Grian and Scar alike. Grian was in second, using his adorableness to his full advantage to catch his targets (who really should know better) unaware. And Scar. Poor Scar. Not only was he rubbish at flirting, but he was also really susceptible to it. Obviously, that made him dead last. And he wasn’t having that.

Now, who was the flirting expert on Hermitcraft? The undisputed champion was one Rendog. So, Scar headed over to the dragon skeleton in the fantasy district. Sure enough, Ren was adding some extra touches to the make-believe corpse. Scar dodged and weaved past the structure, before faceplanting into the shallow water next to Ren, having misjudged the depth. Ren snickered and helped Scar up.

“What’s up, my dude!” Ren greeted the now soaking wet Scar. Scar stuffed his cowboy hat atop his head, making him look even more drenched then before because it promptly sagged onto his eyes. Ren bit the inside of his cheeks to stop himself from laughing. Attempting to preserve at least some of his dignity, Scar diverted the topic to his current problem. Ren listened closely, nodding his head where a head nod was appropriate.

Finally, when Scar started rambling, Ren put his hands on Scar’s shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

“I’ll help you,”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Why not? Now I need to see what I’m going to be working with,” Ren gave Scar his signature suave smile and winked at him. Before he could even tell Scar one of his excellent one-liners, the terraformer blushed a deep crimson red and promptly hid his face in his hat.

Ren lifted his sunglasses and covered his face with his hand, barely containing his chuckles.

“This might be harder than I thought,” he told Scar truthfully, “But no matter! The Ren-diggity-dog will make a charmer out of you, yet!” 

A few hours later, Cub was flying over the fantasy district when he spotted two figures near Ren’s dragon skeleton. One of them was obviously Ren, his sunglasses reflecting the sun into Cub’s eyes. But it was the other figure that caught Cub’s attention. His fellow vex was hiding his face in his cowboy hat and his general body language showed discomfort. Cub frowned and did an about-turn. He hid behind a clump of trees and observed what was happening.

“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together!” Ren gave Scar some finger-guns, while the latter pulled his hat even further over his head. Cub felt his protective instincts towards his partner rise up and he marched out from his hiding place.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing, Rendog! He’s taken!” Cub demanded as he stormed towards the others, causing ripples through the pool. He proceeded to start chewing the very confused Ren out for flirting with someone who was taken and clearly not comfortable with it. He only stopped his tirade when a very timid Scar tugged on his lab coat.

“What?” he asked, his voice significantly softer.

“Please stop. Ren was just trying to help me.”

Cub raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Ren, who had since recovered from his shock was looking more and more amused by the second.

“I’m trying to teach him how to flirt so he can win some game he has going on with his boyfriends.”

“Oh,” Cub rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, “Sorry.”

“No harm done!” Ren assured him, “It wasn’t going well anyway. I’m pretty sure Scar is about to eat his hat.” The aforementioned hermit pulled his hat over his ears and groaned. Cub looked from Ren to Scar and a lightbulb appeared over his head.

“I might not know much about flirting,” he began, “But I do know a lot about Scar. Maybe I can help?” He offered. Ren gave him an approving grin. Scar lifted his hat to smile at him.

Grian and Zedaph were sitting against a log, in one of the few places on the server that didn’t have buildings or were made barren in a hunt for resources. They were talking amicably when Scar approached, hat in hand.

“Hey, guys!” He greeted them, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Scar grinned winningly and made some finger guns at them. Zed and Grian, caught unaware, both blushed profusely. Which in turn, made Scar blush even worse. He sighed in defeat and plopped himself down on his boyfriends’ laps. Zedaph, who got Scar’s head, chuckled and run his fingers through Scar’s brown hair.

“That was awesome, babe! Who taught you that?”

“Cub and Ren.”

“That was brilliant!” Grian assured, “Now you just got to work on not blushing afterwards!”

“I know,” Scar moaned, “I’m rubbish like that!”

“No, baby,” Zed leaned down and kissed Scar on the nose, “You’re adorable.”

This, of course, caused Scar to turn an even brighter red. Grian and Zedaph laughed at their cute boyfriend. Elsewhere, in the nearby trees, Ren and Cub fist-bumped for a job well done and left quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff for the win! After the last two one-shots, I'm happy to rotting all your collective teeth again (that sentence turns really weird when you think about it XD). Thanks to Adamnedusername, and sorry I wasn't able to comply with your earlier request. Have a good day and warm hugs from the other side of the screen,  
> Mel

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hermitcraft One Shots of Doom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23939338) by [50Lizardsinatrenchcoat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat/pseuds/50Lizardsinatrenchcoat)
  * [Welcome To Night Vale, Dear Hermits](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24172117) by [CrazyCatMeow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyCatMeow/pseuds/CrazyCatMeow)
  * [And above me in the night sky, above me, I saw-](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24226588) by [moji964](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moji964/pseuds/moji964)




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